6 Ways to Remove Ego from Your Relationship and Restore Peace.

Note from Francisca (2025):

I wrote this piece several years ago, and its truth still holds today. Whether you're navigating tension in your relationship or reflecting on love, pride, and healing, I hope these words speak gently to your heart.

"Ego is the birth child of pride."

It gives the person who possesses it an overly superior feeling that he is above and beyond the other.

In relationships, ego has been identified as the number one killer that sets in and destroys all that has been built from the onset of the relationship. Ego creates a void and establishes a distance between partners which overtime would grow into dislike and a possible end of the relationship. It allows for mistrust and loyalty becomes far-fetched.

The ego driven partner begins to look down on the other thereby making the other partner feel less.
When ego sets in, caution is thrown to the wind. One partner begins to say if she does not greet me first I would not greet her and vice versa. It can also take on another outlook where one person thinks that without him the other person would be incomplete.

Ego has never helped any situation, often times when ego sets in it's as a result of the fact that the other feels he has been taken for granted for too long.

In a situation where a relationship might be experiencing tough times it is advised that one of the partners becomes a bigger person by shelving their ego away and allowing for reason to prevail.

When there's quality communication between partners in a relationship, the possibility of ego arising becomes very slim. So whatever may be the situation at the moment in your relationship, it is time to put your ego aside and handle issues decisively.

Be the bigger person, skip the 'e' and let it 'go'.

Here's how to do away with Ego in your relationship.

1. Be open to apologizing when you are in the wrong.

Apologies aren’t a sign of weakness, they’re an expression of strength, humility, and love. When you have hurt someone or made a mistake, take responsibility with a sincere heart. A heartfelt “I’m sorry” can dissolve tension faster than pride ever could.

2. Don’t go to bed with unresolved tension.

Carrying emotional weight into the next day only feeds ego and resentment. Scripture reminds us, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26). Seek peace before rest. Your heart will thank you.

3. Ask for clarity rather than making assumptions.

Ego thrives on imagined narratives. Love, however, seeks truth. Instead of concluding or accusing, ask: “Did you mean it this way?” or “Help me understand what you felt.” This opens a door for honest connection instead of conflict.

4. Forgive quickly and try again.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves as much as we give others. Don’t let bitterness harden your heart. Make the choice to forgive even if it’s difficult and lean into grace. Try again, even if imperfectly. Love is built on second chances.

5. Embrace each other after a quarrel.

Never underestimate the power of touch. A gentle hug after a disagreement can disarm lingering tension and remind both of you that you’re still on the same side. Physical closeness, even silent, often says what words cannot.

6. Be honest confess your faults without hiding behind excuses.

Ego hides. Love reveals. If you have done something wrong, say so clearly and without defense. Excuses diminish trust. But honesty, even when uncomfortable, lays the foundation for real intimacy.

- Francisca O. Okwulehie

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